I am a Seminarian pursuing ordination in the ELCA and a bit of a smart-ass. This should get interesting.

 

dadsaretheoriginalhipster:

Your dad would never ride a moped. Mopeds are for people who want to ride a motorcycle, but prefer to feel the wind up their skirts. He rode a death-rocket with two wheels and pinned the throttle down until he reached hell-speed. Sure, he could have slowed down, but then he wouldn’t have been living. 

dadsaretheoriginalhipster:

Your dad would never ride a moped. Mopeds are for people who want to ride a motorcycle, but prefer to feel the wind up their skirts. He rode a death-rocket with two wheels and pinned the throttle down until he reached hell-speed. Sure, he could have slowed down, but then he wouldn’t have been living. 

iwasanawesomerkid:

Legos were awesomer. 
You were a sticky-finger architect who spit in the face of physics and dared to build the dream. Your creations reached for the sky as if to high-five the heavens. They had wings, sometimes wheels and anything else a flying skyscraper defense tower with lasers would need. You made the impossible real and each piece was a new crown jewel on your latest masterpiece. 
Now your Legos collect dust in a box somewhere with the rest of those things you’ve deemed childish. Your latest and greatest creations are spreadsheets and reports and other bullshit pieces of paper that need filing. 
Screw that noise. Let’s make race cars that fly, prototype our dream homes on Titanic size boats and make monstrosities of imagination. You’re never too old for Legos but you’re definitely not awesomer without them. 

iwasanawesomerkid:

Legos were awesomer. 

You were a sticky-finger architect who spit in the face of physics and dared to build the dream. Your creations reached for the sky as if to high-five the heavens. They had wings, sometimes wheels and anything else a flying skyscraper defense tower with lasers would need. You made the impossible real and each piece was a new crown jewel on your latest masterpiece. 

Now your Legos collect dust in a box somewhere with the rest of those things you’ve deemed childish. Your latest and greatest creations are spreadsheets and reports and other bullshit pieces of paper that need filing. 

Screw that noise. Let’s make race cars that fly, prototype our dream homes on Titanic size boats and make monstrosities of imagination. You’re never too old for Legos but you’re definitely not awesomer without them. 

choochoobear:

itswalky:

The related headlines placed directly below the tweet really bring it all home.


"There’s a free prize inside me!" Happy chortled.  "Don’t you want the free prize?"
"I just," Tommy wept, "I just want my parents back!  I just want to go home!"
"But you are home, Tommy!" Happy whispered, stroking the sobbing child’s hair with his blood-soaked hands.  "You are home."  Happy’s head opened up and he pulled out a slab of gory muscle from inside him.  Tommy looked at it and convulsed at the memory of seeing Happy full it from his father’s chest.
The smiling box leaned into Tommy’s ear and said, “After all, home is where the heart is.”

choochoobear:

itswalky:

The related headlines placed directly below the tweet really bring it all home.

"There’s a free prize inside me!" Happy chortled.  "Don’t you want the free prize?"

"I just," Tommy wept, "I just want my parents back!  I just want to go home!"

"But you are home, Tommy!" Happy whispered, stroking the sobbing child’s hair with his blood-soaked hands.  "You are home."  Happy’s head opened up and he pulled out a slab of gory muscle from inside him.  Tommy looked at it and convulsed at the memory of seeing Happy full it from his father’s chest.

The smiling box leaned into Tommy’s ear and said, “After all, home is where the heart is.”

eelwheel:

bogleech:

gameraboy:

"A Sticky Situation" (1960) by Carl Barks

I like how advertising is literally still exactly as sexist as they’re joking about in this comic from 54 years ago.

^ ^ ^